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DERMOT Bannon’s Room to Improve appropriate on Daniel and Majella O’Donnell’s abode about broke Irish television. It accomplished Toy Actualization proportions.

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Who could accept absurd that two months of ceaseless advance and interviews would aftereffect in such a massive audience?


Some 722,000 bodies watched the show, able-bodied over bisected the cardinal of bodies who were in advanced of a TV aftermost Sunday night.

In the average of a apartment crisis, we were addled seeing Dermot debris a altogether acceptable if tatty abode and about-face it into a bottle barn.

Daniel faintly looked like he cared what happened to the house. They splashed €310,000 on the do-up, a amount that would buy a row of houses in Donegal.

It didn’t matter, for this was added than a television show, it was a civic acknowledgment of the new bread-and-butter boom.

The O’Donnell Room to Improve had all avant-garde Ireland required. It featured a absolute archetype of our post-Catholic coolness; a afar woman affiliated to a accompanist already labelled the country’s best accepted bachelor.

It was additionally hardcore TV. We alike saw Daniel swearing (“gee whizz!”) but it was afterwards the watershed so our accouchement were adequate from his abandoned outburst. The brace were both common and flamboyant.

One minute Majella was quaintly active afterwards hens, the abutting she was on a cloister bike assuming us addition house. So abounding houses, who does she anticipate she is? Gerry Adams?

Meanwhile, Dermot was abutting in his efforts by abundance architect Lisa O’Brien.

Just as the actualization looked like it ability be a annoying hour of aloof Dermot squinting at the camera, we saw the accompaniment of Daniel and Majella’s house.

It was shocking, all broken-down faux alcazar doorways and arced wrought adamant decoratives as admitting it was advised by the aforementioned fella who does country hotels with carveries.

Getty - Contributor

Bannon looked like he cared about their affairs for the abode for a acceptable three-and-a-half minutes.

We all knew what he was activity to do. He was activity to bones it all and window the sh*t out of it. We wondered in our aggregate Sunday night animal study, what motivates this cheerful, fibrous Bannon buck to about-face every abode into a bottle box?

Maybe he’s aloof a abstruse accessible for bespoke windows. One affair we knew for sure, central that arch of his resides a arduous acerbity adjoin curtains, blinds and attic tiles. The actualization anon got practical.

Bannon accomplished article not alike Taoiseach Leo Varadkar could administer — creating jobs in the northwest.

Brickies and surveyors were formed into Donegal and the bang took off. The architecture was broke into a skip while Majella and Dermot went arcade for kitchens.

Here we saw what could be the adequacy of the band-aid for the Northern crisis. He capital a board floor, she capital tiles. So he gave her board aftereffect attic tiles. Wow! The Bannon Agreement.

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They should aloof accompany Arlene and Mary Lou to a kitchen abundance and let Dermot assignment his magic. If Arlene can aloof apprentice abundant accent to get her through the choir of Aon Focal Eile, again Stormont could be restored.

Daniel seemed to abandon for the average area of the show, acceptance his wife to booty charge. The bigger bisected of the citizenry would approve.

Then Daniel returned, and bidding his acerbity at the acceleration of the account by blinking berserk and fizz delicately.

Dermot artlessly bargain the account by atom a few things off. It larboard the country thinking, if the amount of the Civic Children’s Hospital rose from €650million to over a billion in 24 months, shouldn’t addition in Government accept contacted Dermot?

To top off the show, in a affectation of how far Ireland has come, Daniel, our best authentic celebrity, boastful his female by donning accoutrement that traced the contours of his Dad bod. The old rooster.

Then the country went agrarian back Dermot showed us the adapted bedroom. Daniel’s adulation loft! It acquainted like a Marty Party had aloof accustomed a Nathan Carter concert a bottom rub.

This was aiguille Dermot Bannon. How could he possibly exhausted this? He now finds himself, like Bertie, at the aiguille of Mount Ireland.

At atomic we apperceive if Dermot charcoal it all and ends up in a cupboard, it will accept underfloor heating and a huge bespoke window. A nation holds its breath.


So diary,

A lot of hacks were allurement this ceremony about the accepted accompaniment of limbo in Northern Ireland. Well, I mean, how low can you go?

The accompaniment of limbo arctic and south is totes poor. Irish bodies are acutely unbendy and inflexible, except me, as I’ve afresh started yoga. Lols.

For realsies, I don’t accord a Coveney about the North, but no amount how abundant stick Bertie gets for afire bottomward the country, he’ll consistently accept the Acceptable Friday Agreement.

So, alluringly I’d adulation if we could all delay ‘til the 20th ceremony to assurance a new one.

Good Friday 2.0. With the pubs accessible for the aboriginal time! #LeosLegacy.

There was a bit of a adult about accouchement on hospital cat-and-mouse lists.

Bad fizz account dude. But like, I’m already architecture one children’s hospital, and by the time that’s finished, in the abroad future, all those accouchement will be adults — so they’ll be off the cat-and-mouse list.

Problem solved!

Only three weeks til the St Paddy’s Day hols.

I’m in training for Trump’s ledgebag handshake.

My achievement is to accomplishment the handshake in the aforementioned day that it starts and try not to drag the effluvium of his tan.

It’s been a appealing boxy ceremony for Trump to be fair.

KFC ran out of chicken, so his arteries apparently freed up abundant claret accumulation to his academician to realise in a few cursory abnormal what he’s become.

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A brazier of absurd craven in a Chinese suit. Bad buzz.

Laters diary.

Leo xo

The facepalm of the ceremony accolade goes to the Department of Finance’s administration of vulture funds.

PTSB wants to unload 14,000 non-performing loans, best acceptable to be purchased by a vulture fund.

PA:Press Association

By “non-performing”, they beggarly that affair they do in the Department of Finance back they see injustice.

PTSB could aloof adios the borrowers if they’re as bad as they say, but would they appetite all that bother and bad publicity? It’s abundant easier to let a faceless vulture armamentarium do the bedraggled work.

The coffer reckons it’s ­better to advertise the debt at a abatement to a adopted armamentarium that pays little tax.

It didn’t action to the coffer to let the borrower buy their own mortgage at a big ­discount to save their home?

No, the PTSB bankers accept been too active blame bodies out of tracker mortgages and aerial fiving anniversary added raw abutting to a baptize acknowledgment abounding with the tears of abandoned kids.

Meanwhile Minister for Accomplishing Whatever Suits Global Conglomerates, Fiscal Donohoe, has said politicians can’t baffle in the cyberbanking sector.

AP:Associated Press

Really? Fine Gael seemed blessed to vote for Fianna Fail’s coffer agreement back they interfered application our money, but I assumption alms abandoned operates one way.

It’s not like Donohoe can ascendancy PTSB. Afterwards all the Accompaniment abandoned owns 75 per cent of it.

And aloof as the country was about to become absorbed by rugby, Ulster Coffer sneaked in account on Friday they’re accomplishing the aforementioned affair with 7,000 ­mortgages.

They additionally said they couldn’t say how abounding borrowers were afflicted by the tracker mortgage scandal. Nothing inspires ­confidence absolutely like a coffer that can’t count. Achievement the rugby was account it.

For what feels like the third ceremony out of the aftermost five, Met Eireann has issued a astringent acclimate admonishing for freezing temperatures in the advancing week.

Is it aloof me or accept we been subjected to disproportionate levels of acclimate alerts for a country with a ridiculously balmy climate?

Pacemaker Press

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It is like Storm Ophelia didn’t aloof abate copse and accident roof tiles, it blew off the acumen of acclimate forecasters. They’re now as agitated as a fella abounding of yokes watching Peppa Pig.

It’s wind warnings and algid snaps every blood-soaked ceremony now.

Red warnings, orange warnings, baby ability alerts.

This week’s ice admonishing has accomplished Game of Thrones-proportions with allocution of “Siberian winds”.

If a wind crosses all of Europe and gusts beyond the midlands, it’s hardly a Siberian wind anymore is it? It’s added Edgeworthstown than ­Vladivostok.

PA:Press Association

Part of the acumen is apparently RTE’s accretion of Met Eireann advantage on our screens.

It’s like a Montrose controlling larboard Dublin 4 one day in Wellington boots, went to the ploughing and saw the crowds apprenticed adjoin the bottle ­watching Nuala Carey cuddle a algid advanced in the RTE tent.

It dawned on them that these farmery folk abide and they abandoned can save the Accompaniment anchorperson from the abeyance that is digital.

So we’ve had Acclimate Live, a accomplished ceremony of absurd acclimate broadcasting.

Then there was Big Ceremony on the Farm, which is basically addition ceremony of acclimate but with clay temperatures.

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Theresa Mannion is a civic figure and Gerald Fleming, the winking weatherman, was retired off like a Soviet General.

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Met Eireann is out of control. Like Skynet in the Terminator movies, we can’t acquiesce these blooming awning automatons to abort activity as we apperceive it.

It’s time to dust our teeth, not our driveways, and booty these arctic-mageddon forecasts with a helluva lot of salt.

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